Prenatal Parenting: Bonding with Baby


One of the first questions I ask my clients:

“How is your baby?”


We now understand that the baby is imprinting the whole pregnancy experience and though s/he may not be fully conscious for a few months, I encourage you to talk to your baby and start acting like parents from conception.  Wait until birth and you have missed a beautiful opportunity to get to know your baby and begin bonding with them.

Some parents don’t want to bond with their babies until later in the pregnancy–“just in case”, but the sooner you let your baby know that they are a wanted member of the family, the safer they will feel and they will have an easier time navigating the world from this sense of early safety and belonging.  Wouldn’t you want your child to feel safe and loved from the very beginning?

I’ve also observed that moms who feel connected to their babies often have more graceful births and a gentler transition into parenting the baby earth-side.  Dads can start interacting with their baby, too!


All of our senses become active at varying times during gestation.  Hearing is especially acute.  Prenatal researchers have shown that babies are conscious in-utero; they move away from ultrasound probes, they hear & remember music played during your pregnancy, they start learning the rhythm of your language and they already recognize the sound of their mother’s voice before they are born!

As I mentioned in Part 1, taste gets formed early, so if you want your child to eat her veggies, best to make sure you are doing the same while you are pregnant.  Our babies learn from our actions early on.

You can even start playing with your baby before it’s born!  Prenatal researcher David Chamberlain says: “Parents interested in prenatal communication have taught their prenates the “Kick Game.” When babies kick, the parents touch the abdomen and say, “Kick, baby, kick!” When the baby kicks, they move to a different location and repeat the invitation. Babies soon oblige by kicking anywhere on cue.”

Even if you have a difficult time during pregnancy, you can talk to your baby and reassure them.  In Part 2 of this series, I write about the impact of pregnancy stress.  In my birth trauma healing work, I have had clients recount prenatal experiences that they didn’t know about before we started working.  They were later able to confirm these experiences with their mothers.  Babies are so connected with their mothers while in the womb–what happens to you is part of their earliest experience of the world.

Mothers seem to know instinctively that babies like touch and you will see many pregnant moms rub their bellies a lot, especially in the third trimester.

With practice, many mamas are able to communicate with their babies through dreams or in deep meditation.   Listening to your baby may be challenging at first, but I see how powerful it can be for my clients when they start getting a sense of the unique person in their belly!

Enjoy your baby and interact with them from the moment you know you’ve conceived.  All of you deserve the benefits of connection and and creating a strong relationship throughout your pregnancy!

What are your favorite ways to connect to your unborn baby?





5 Responses to “Prenatal Parenting: Bonding with Baby”

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  1. Katherine says:

    Oh Sondra, I LOVED this post! I so agree that pregnancy is where parenting starts, and it is quite amazing how resistant we are to realities we cannot see with our eyes. While pregnant my favorite times of connection with my babies were while doing yoga and self-massage, especially massage because they clearly were getting a good rub-down as well and I could tell they loved my touch and attention.

    • Rinda says:

      Stress does affect health. We hear so much about stress being bad for us but little about how to keep it at bay NATURALLY. I am an avid advocate of natural relaxation techniques; listening to a cd morning or evenings as a means of keeping stress at bay is a powerful tool, time to nurture you with guided visualization. CD’s by Jonathan Robert Banks an expert in stress relief, his Recovery, Alpha, Relaxation, Breathing CD’s do REDUCE Stress.

  2. Sondra Rose says:

    Thanks so much for sharing your experience, Katherine.

    I LOVE that your babies were getting massages in-utero. A spa-day for them!

  3. Roxana says:

    This will sound funny, but one thing I loved doing to bond with my baby, and I encouraged my husband to do (he was afraid that by touching the belly or massaging it he would hurt the baby, it was pretty hard to make him understand the baby has her own safe water bubble) was in the shower I would get my belly all playfully soapy and that always made me giggle. Pretty sure my baby loved that.Husband as well. I thought I better do as much of that as I can now, because it will take some time by the time their fragile little bodies will enjoy that after birth 🙂