As I moved through the process of releasing my old self; a process that is never linear, I started relating to myself differently and have written about some of that process here and here.
Over the last year or so, a new self has emerged and I am learning to embrace her. She is less critical, (though more discerning), more compassionate and infinitely more patient than my old self. She is also braver and willing to try new things (like writing this blog series from a personal perspective!) She is more honest and outspoken about her passions and desires. Not to everyone’s taste, mind you, but She is infinitely more in her integrity than she has ever been before.
I write about this new self as “She” because I am still integrating her. “She” is present more and more, but I can still default to my old self and old habits, especially when stressed or fearful.
She has far less room in her life for all the baggage I have carried and so an intense clutter-clearing is still underway; less stuff, fewer clothes, dropping body fat, simplifying self-care and yard-care, refining my diet, focusing on the people and things that are important to me and releasing entanglements and distractions. I will explore some of these topics in this series.
This stripped down self wants more adventure, less drama. She wants more fun and more play. She wants to be up-to-date with herself in every moment.
She wants more creativity. More time spent giving space to her own voice. More time spent as a producer, not a consumer.
She loves depth and vulnerability, but has no time for the victim mentality. She appreciates strength that comes from courage, not bravado. She has no time for fools or the glamour-obsessed, but will spend hours with those genuinely seeking healing and wholeness.
As I develop a relationship with this new self, I am seeing more of the person I always wanted to be.
She is Me and I will walk with her through this menopause journey, On the other side, my hope is to be fully integrated and speaking with my full, true voice, in first person.
Stay tuned for my next post in the series: Fasting for Weight Loss during Menopause.